Let's face it. There are just some
days when it would just seem easier to let your child have his way than feeling
like you're fighting a losing battle when trying to discipline them. They beg, plead,
cry, barter and scream - anything to get out of doing the time for their crime.
However, don't lose your strength and your will during this time. It's times
like these when consistent disciplinary action is imperative to teaching your
child positive and acceptable behaviors.
There is no room for negotiation when
it comes to bad behaviors and there should be no room for exceptions when it
comes time for punishing misdeeds or bad behavior.
Hopefully before any misdeeds occur,
you've sat down with your child and discussed the consequences of misdeeds and
inappropriate behavior or decisions. Be concise and consistent when discussing
these consequences so that when the time to implement them comes, you can follow
through with ease. Children are classically testing the boundaries and limits
set on them on a continual basis, and the temptation to 'bend the rules' just
once or twice can be overwhelming when they're really trying your patience. But
be firm yet fair. Emphasize that this was the understood consequence for this
particular misdeed or inappropriate action, and that now is not the time to
negotiate. Afterwards, take time out to discuss the situation with your child,
and if it seems that perhaps a consequence that worked at first isn't working
anymore, rethink that punishment and negotiate with your child. Of course,
parameters that are set for their well-being or safety should never be
negotiated. But in other instances, it may be time to develop a new consequence
based on your child's age, temperament or maturity level.
It's also imperative that your
spouse and any other adult caregivers are all on the same page and following
through on punishments with the same level of consistency and clarity. Should you
determine that what was once working isn't working anymore and develop a new parameter,
be sure all adult caregivers are brought into the loop so that follow through
remains consistent and clear.

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